What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

There is no magic formula to making the perfect decision every time, but there are philosophical principles, or "razors," you can use to pare down your options and see your problem more clearly. These razors can cut through the clutter of complexity and help us see the forest for the trees. And while they weren't designed with parents in mind, they can come in pretty handy! Starting with the most famous, Occam’s Razor, we discuss how paring away unlikely hypotheticals leads to the most accurate solutions. Next, we delve into Hanlon’s Razor, which reminds us to avoid attributing malicious intent when there’s a simpler explanation. This principle can help us avoid unnecessary conflict and foster understanding, especially in relationships. Then we discuss Hitchens’ Razor, which places the burden of proof on the person making the claim. This can be a valuable tool for evaluating arguments and avoiding baseless assertions. We also explore Chesterton’s Fence, which encourages us to be cautious about changing things without understanding their original purpose. But that's not all. Listen to the episode to hear the rest, and let us know your own rules for clearer thinking! Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Itamar Shatz for Effectiviology: ⁠"Hanlon’s Razor: Never Attribute to Malice That Which is Adequately Explained by Stupidity"⁠ Farnam Street blog: ⁠Chesterton’s Fence: A Lesson in Thinking⁠ Reallemon for Medium: ⁠Hitchens’s Razor and its Place in Debate⁠ Kendra Cherry for Verywell ⁠Mind: How the Hawthorne Effect Works⁠ ⁠Our episode on decision fatigue⁠ Go to our Facebook group and tell us what rules and razors you live by! ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast⁠ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, decision-making, decision fatigue, productivity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amy and Margaret sit down with Dr. Jean Twenge, renowned researcher of generational differences and author of the new book 10 RULES FOR RAISING KIDS IN A HIGH-TECH WORLD. Dr. Twenge shares what her research reveals about smartphones, social media, and gaming—and how they impact kids’ mental health, sleep, and friendships. From the rise of teen depression since the smartphone boom, to the addictive power of algorithms, to the everyday battles over devices in our homes and schools, this conversation sheds light on what’s really happening when kids spend hours online. Dr. Twenge also offers parents very clear rules around devices that may not be easy to implement—but may be far easier than the small daily fights we're all having about screens. Whether you’re navigating screen time with your elementary schooler or arguing with your teen over TikTok, this episode is full of insights and realistic tools to help your family thrive in the digital age. Here's where you can find Dr. Twenge: www.jeantwenge.com @jean_twenge on X Buy 10 RULES FOR RAISING KIDS IN A HIGH-TECH WORLD: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781668099995 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH Ready to raise money-smart kids? Start now with your first month FREE at acornsearly.com/FRESH! Head to GigSalad.com and book some awesome talent for your next party, and let them know that What Fresh Hell sent you. Dr. Jean Twenge, 10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World, smartphones and kids, social media and teens, screen time rules, parenting in the digital age, parental controls, TikTok and teens, smartphone addiction, teen mental health, kids and technology, raising kids with phones, screen time boundaries, algorithms and teens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mom firsts? We prefer to reminisce about Mom WORSTS. In this episode we relive some of our all-time lousiest experiences as mothers, from family-wide Coxsackie virus to elaborate homework assignments achievable only with extensive parental participation. Margaret mentions the song "Tim Finnegan's Wake" in this episode, which you can listen to here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRXWWZ74Qe8 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH⁠ Ready to raise money-smart kids? Start now with your first month FREE at ⁠acornsearly.com/FRESH⁠! Head to ⁠GigSalad.com⁠ and book some awesome talent for your next party, and let them know that What Fresh Hell sent you. mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, mom worsts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The human tendency to solve problems by adding something is called "additive solution bias." However, sometimes a problem is more quickly and effectively solved by taking something away. In this episode we talk about how "additive solution bias" can play out in our parenting strategies, and how we can become more aware of the times when what we actually need to do is take something away. Amy and Margaret discuss: Why our brains are wired to solve problems by adding things How additive solution bias increases along with the size of the problem we're attempting to solve Why removing something, or doing less, isn't automatically easier Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to ⁠whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm⁠ to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year.  Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Diana Kwon for Scientific American: ⁠"Our Brain Typically Overlooks This Brilliant Problem-Solving Strategy"⁠ Gabrielle S. Adams, et. al for Nature: ⁠"People systematically overlook subtractive changes"⁠ Less is more: Why our brains struggle to subtract Anthony Sanni: ⁠Additive Bias—and how it could be affecting your productivity⁠ ⁠Braess's paradox⁠ Rachel Fairbank for Lifehacker: ⁠"Why You Should 'Subtract' From Your Parenting"⁠ ⁠SUBTRACT by Leidy Klotz⁠ Our Fresh Take with Amanda Montell ⁠Our Fresh Take with Yael Schonbrun⁠ ⁠THE SENSORY CHILD GETS ORGANIZED by Carolyn Dalgliesh⁠ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Margaret sits down with Suzanne Warye—sobriety influencer, host of The Sober Mom Life podcast, and author of the new book THE SOBER SHIFT. Suzanne shares her story of walking away from alcohol, the truth about moderation, the concept of gray area drinking, and why sobriety can feel like abundance, not deprivation. Together, they explore how alcohol affects motherhood, anxiety, and identity, and how community can make the journey toward alcohol-free living possible. Suzanne also discusses the cultural forces targeting moms with “mommy wine culture,” the neuroscience behind alcohol and anxiety, and how embracing sobriety allows for more presence, joy, and connection. Here's where you can find Suzanne: @suzannewarye on IG https://suzannewarye.com Listen to the Sober Mom Life podcast Buy THE SOBER SHIFT: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780063437616 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH Ready to raise money-smart kids? Start now with your first month FREE at acornsearly.com/FRESH! Head to GigSalad.com and book some awesome talent for your next party, and let them know that What Fresh Hell sent you. sobriety, Suzanne Warye, The Sober Shift, Sober Mom Life, alcohol-free living, gray area drinking, mommy wine culture, sober curious, sobriety influencer, alcohol and anxiety, motherhood and sobriety, women and drinking, quitting alcohol, sober community Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is your kid extremely resistant to the simplest of requests? Or completely impossible to wake up in the morning? Or sure their peers don't like them, despite pretty clear evidence to the contrary? All of these are extremely typical kid behaviors. All of these also have more intense manifestations—PDA, DSWPD, and RSD, respectively— which meet clinical definitions and which may require more concrete support, for both you and your kid. In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss the amorphous lines that often exist between typical child behavior and an issue that may need more attention and scaffolding. From afterschool restraint collapse to ARFID, Amy and Margaret explore the moments when everyday challenges start to interfere with family life, friendships, or school—and what parents can do to respond from a place of understanding and clarity. You’ll learn: How certain behaviors can sometimes point to larger patterns. The value of having names for behaviors—reducing shame, guiding next steps, and helping parents advocate for their kids. Practical strategies parents can use at home to reduce stress, manage transitions, and support kids in ways that actually work. If you’ve ever wondered, is this typical, or is it more?—this episode is for you. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH parenting podcast, kids behavior issues, child tantrums, picky eating help, rejection sensitivity dysphoria, disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, ARFID in kids, pathological demand avoidance, delayed sleep wake phase disorder, typical vs atypical child behavior, parenting strategies for behavior Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A recent report found that the division of home responsibilities is still grossly unequal. Mothers—whether they are married or single—do significantly more than fathers. In fact, the ⁠“The Free-Time Gender Gap” ⁠report found that “simply being a woman is linked to spending more time on unpaid childcare and household work, and having less free time, even when controlling for age, income, race/ ethnicity, parental status, and marital status." What does it mean for women to have less free time, and how can we keep working to close the gender gap? Amy and Margaret discuss: The differences in socialization between men and women when it comes to our living spaces How time inequality serves to further reinforce and perpetuate gender inequality How "secondary childcare" factors into the free-time gender gap Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Natalia Vega Varela, and Leyly Moridi ⁠“The Free-Time Gender Gap: How Unpaid Care and Household Labor Reinforces Women’s Inequality,”⁠ Gender Equity Policy Institute, October 2024. Allison Daminger for the American Sociological Review: ⁠De-gendered Processes, Gendered Outcomes: How Egalitarian Couples Make Sense of Non-egalitarian Household Practices⁠ Anne Helen Petersen on Substack: ⁠What Makes Women Clean⁠ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, emotional labor, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What happens when you finally, as an adult, understand for the first time that your brain has been wired differently all along? Writer and mother Carla Ciccone joins Amy and Margaret to discuss her memoir NOWHERE GIRL: Life as a Member of ADHD’s Lost Generation. Together, they explore how ADHD in women often presents differently than the “hyperactive little boy” stereotype, and the lasting impact on many adult women with ADHD of having been undiagnosed for decades. Carla shares her journey through shame, perfectionism, and masking—and how diagnosis and self-acceptance have reshaped her life as both a woman and a mother. Key Topics Covered: Why ADHD in women is historically underdiagnosed Rejection sensitivity dysphoria and imposter syndrome Raising children with ADHD as a parent with ADHD If you’ve ever wondered why ADHD feels different for women—or why so many are diagnosed later in life—this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and community. Carla’s story will resonate with anyone navigating motherhood, identity, and the struggle to stop “performing life” and start living authentically. Here's where you can find Carla: www.carlaciccone.com @cciccone on IG Buy NOWHERE GIRL: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593729519 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH ADHD in women, late ADHD diagnosis, inattentive ADHD, hyperactive ADHD, ADHD masking, rejection sensitivity dysphoria, imposter syndrome ADHD, ADHD perfectionism, motherhood and ADHD, Carla Ciccone, Nowhere Girl memoir, ADHD and generational trauma, parenting with ADHD, ADHD emotional regulation, underdiagnosed ADHD in women Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

From road trips to reclaim lost lovies to birthday extravaganzas with six-month planning windows, parents will do just about anything for their kids. Amy and Margaret share listener stories—and their own—about the wildest, weirdest, and most over-the-top lengths we have all gone to make their kids happy. Read the saga of the missing Tortellini We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠⁠⁠⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, Margaret Ables, Amy Wilson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We've all felt the guilt that comes with taking time away from our kids to do something we enjoy. But if we're always being told how liberating it is to do things for ourselves, why do we have such complicated feelings about? Dr. Amber Thornton tells us how we can successfully balance our lives both as women and as mothers. ⁠Dr. Amber Thornton⁠ is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Millennial Motherhood Wellness Coach. She is the Founder of Balanced Working Mama, with a mission to completely change the narrative of what is possible for millennial mothers by helping them to better balance work, motherhood, and wellness. She's also the host of the ⁠BALANCED WORKING MAMA podcast⁠. Dr. Amber resides in Washington, D.C., with her husband and 2 little ones.  Dr. Amber, Margaret, and Amy discuss: What it means to set a boundary successfully What's really behind mom guilt The perils of secondary expectations It's important to remember that our feelings about our situation don't necessarily reflect the reality that's happening around us. Our guilt about taking time for ourselves as mothers is a commentary on the society we live in, not our actual abilities as parents. Here's where you can find Amber: ⁠www.balancedworkingmama.com⁠ @dramberthornton on IG/FB/YT/TikTok @balancedworkingmama on IG Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Joshua Ziesel for The Washington Post: ⁠"I wanted to be a better husband. So I planned my kid's birthday party."⁠ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH ⁠⁠⁠⁠invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity, mental load, cognitive load, cognitive labor, emotional labor, second shift, work life balance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do women balance being both effective and likable? It shouldn't be ours to manage, and yet it is. This week Margaret and Amy talk with Dr. Kate Mason, communications coach and author of POWERFULLY LIKABLE: A Woman’s Guide to Effective Communication. What you'll learn in this episode: Why women often feel trapped between being “powerful” or “likable” The cultural roots of authority and expertise—and how they still affect women today The difference between agreeability and likability What “imposing syndrome” is and how to overcome it Why naming your “non-goals” can bring more freedom and focus How to raise kids who see power and likability as compatible Find Dr. Kate Mason at katemason.co Buy POWERFULLY LIKABLE: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593797204 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ women communication strategies, powerful and likable, Kate Mason interview, effective communication tips, impostor syndrome vs imposing syndrome, agreeability vs likability, motherhood and communication, women leadership balance, power as a verb, parenting and communication Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have female friendships become more complicated than they need to be? Amy and Margaret dig into the dynamics of their own female-female friendships and what the research says: why some friendships last decades, why others drift apart, and why friendship “breakup texts” have become a thing. In this episode you'll learn: Why women expect more intimacy and reciprocity from friends than men do Why conflict styles play a big role in how friendships evolve The six categories of friendship that women and men look for, but with different priorities How to reconnect with old friends (without the awkwardness) Why it’s okay for different friends to meet different needs Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Olga Khazan for The Atlantic: Why Do We Break Up With Friends? Emine Saner for The Guardian: Drifting away from your friends? Here are 10 questions to bring you closer Heather Havrilesky for The Cut: Why Do My Friendships Always Fade Away? Lilly Dancyger for Elle Magazine: We Need to Talk About Our Ex-Best Friends Fresh Take: Kat Vellos On Friendship and Connection Leigh E. Elkin and Christopher Peterson for Sex Roles Journal: Gender Differences in Best Friendships Dr. Jeffrey Hall et. al for The Journal of Personal and Social Relationships: Friendship standards: The dimensions of ideal expectations Michelle Ellman: BAD FRIEND Fresh Take: Norah Lally We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH female friendships, friendship breakups, adult friendships, friendship drama, friendship conflict, why friendships end, complicated friendships, friendship boundaries, friendship vs marriage, friendship stereotypes, friendship expectations, male vs female friendships, how to reconnect with friends, friendship advice for moms, low-conflict friendships, friendship categories research, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Natalie Mayslich is the President of Consumer for ⁠Care.com⁠, where she is responsible for expanding, building and delivering the Company’s portfolio of Childcare and Senior Care products and services. Blessing Adesiyan is the Founder of ⁠Mother Honestly⁠, a platform that provides financial technology and work-life infrastructure to employers and is reshaping the future of women and families at home and in the workplace. Natalie and Blessing are here to talk to us today about a new joint research study between Care.com and Mother Honestly that assesses how remote work truly impacts working families at work and at home. The findings of that study have just been published as ⁠The Modern Workplace Report. ⁠ Natalie and Blessing explain: How remote work makes employees more productive and parents more involved How remote work has changed gender roles in the home How employers can implement effective remote work policies Here's where you can find Natalie and Blessing: www.care.com www.motherhonestly.com @caredotcom on IG/FB/X @mhworklife on IG/X ⁠Read The Modern Workplace Report⁠ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH ⁠invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity, mental load, cognitive load, cognitive labor, emotional labor, second shift, work life balance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amy sits down with Trevor Hanson, coach and founder of The Art of Healing and the Secure Self Club, to unpack the power of attachment theory and how it shapes our relationships. Trevor explains the differences between secure, anxious, and avoidant attachment styles—and why understanding your patterns can transform the way you love, communicate, and connect. Trevor shares practical tools for breaking free from people-pleasing, over-apologizing, and shutting down, including his "TEMPO" framework for mapping your attachment cycle. You’ll learn how self-compassion and daily “attachment skills” can help you create the emotional safety you’ve been missing and build healthier, more connected relationships. If you’ve ever wondered why you get defensive, struggle with conflict, or repeat the same painful patterns in love, this conversation will give you both clarity and hope. What You’ll Learn in This Episode: What attachment theory is and how it shapes your relationships Why most relationship conflict comes from insecurity Practical strategies to move from anxious attachment to secure connection Here's where you can find Trevor: Follow Trevor on Instagram: @theartofhealingbytrevor artofhealingbytrevor.com Trevor's free seminar From Anxious to Secure The Gottman Institute: The Anger Iceberg We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠⁠⁠⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, productivity, attachment theory, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, secure attachment, attachment styles in relationships, healing attachment wounds, relationship communication skills, people pleasing and boundaries, overcoming fear of abandonment, self-compassion in relationships, Secure Self Club, Trevor Hanson coach, Art of Healing by Trevor, emotional regulation in conflict, breaking negative relationship cycles Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's what you've all been waiting for: Even More Husband Crimes, Part Two. This episode's charges include: napping on Mother's Day seasoning food like he's on a cooking show booking weeklong holidays to the in-laws' house Book 'em, Dano. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, spouse, partner, marriage, co-parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ericka Sóuter has over 20 years of journalism experience and is a regular contributor on Good Morning America and other national broadcast outlets. Ericka speaks to parents across the country about the issues, controversies, and trends most affecting families today. She's also the author of ⁠How to Have a Kid and Life: a Survival Guide.⁠ In this episode, Ericka and Margaret discuss: The greatest predictor of kids' socioemotional wellbeing The six questions you should ask yourself every year The "mom gene" Here's where to find Ericka: @erickasouter on IG and X @soundstrue on IG Order HOW TO HAVE A KID AND A LIFE here: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781683644873 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH ⁠⁠ invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity, mental load, cognitive load, cognitive labor, emotional labor, second shift, work life balance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amy and Margaret sit down with sociologist and author Allison Daminger to unpack the cognitive labor many of us fail to recognize in our families' daily lives— what's come to be known as the "mental load." In her new book WHAT'S ON HER MIND: The Mental Workload of Family Life, Allison unpacks her years of research to explain how cognitive labor—anticipating needs, planning, decision-making, and follow-up—shapes family dynamics and falls disproportionately on women. Allison explains why this imbalance persists, how gender socialization influences our roles at home, and what couples can do to shift from default patterns to intentional choices. What You’ll Learn in This Episode: What “cognitive labor” really is and why it matters Why moms carry the mental load by default How personality and gender norms shape family responsibilities The differences in how queer and straight couples divide mental work The impact of unequal cognitive labor on stress, leisure, and opportunity Practical steps toward more balanced, intentional partnerships Here's where you can find Allison: Buy WHAT'S ON HER MIND: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780691245386 Allison’s Substack: Daminger Dispatch Allison’s website: allisondaminger.com We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity, mental load, cognitive load, cognitive labor, emotional labor, second shift, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Right now your kid doesn't like you. At all. What is really going on? And how can we respond without losing our cool, even when our feelings are genuinely hurt? In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss: Why kids say “I hate you” (and why it’s rarely about you) How to handle boundary-testing without escalating conflict The importance of letting kids push against limits... while holding firm to those limits Keeping connection strong during high-conflict moments Balancing correction with genuine positive interactions Here are some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Raising Teens Today blog: Help...My Teenager Hates Me and It's Breaking My Heart Ellen Himelfarb for Today's Parent: An Age-By-Age Guide To Dealing With “I Hate You”https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3574772/ Regina Sullivan and Elizabeth Norton Lasley for Cerebrum Journal: Fear in Love: Attachment, Abuse, and the Developing Brain We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH Parenting Podcast, Parenting Challenges, Raising Kids, Parenting Tips, Parenting Struggles, Parenting Support, Parent Child Relationship, Emotional Parenting, Mental Health For Parents, Parenting Emotions, Family Wellness, Parenting Anxiety, When Kids Hate You, Difficult Parenting, Parenting Conflicts, Parenting Struggles Real Talk, Parenting Honesty, Parenting Life, Mom Life, Dad Life, Family Dynamics, Parenting Community, Parenting Podcast Life Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we help our kids succeed in school without becoming the dreaded "snowplow" parents? Here are some parenting tips for advocating for your child at school when necessary, while also empowering our kids to navigate their own learning. Amy and Margaret discuss: How school environments have changed in the last few decades Best practices for helping kids of different ages manage homework How to start a productive conversation with your child's educators about concerns you may have Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:  Jenny Anderson for TIME Magazine: ⁠"Many American Parents Have No Idea How Their Kids Are Doing in School"⁠ Carrie Bauer, et. al, for Slate: ⁠Help Me Help My Kid⁠ Libby Stanford for Education Week: ⁠"Does Parent Involvement Really Help Students? Here’s What the Research Says"⁠ U.S. Department of Education: ⁠"Raise the Bar: Resources for Parents and Families"⁠ Cara Goodwin for KQED's Mind/Shift: ⁠"How important is homework, and how much should parents help?"⁠ ⁠See our interview with Jennifer Breheny Wallace⁠ - author of ⁠Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic — and What We Can Do About It⁠ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, academic achievement, school achievement, homework Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Toddler meltdowns, stroller mayhem, ear infections. Doesn't that sound so relaxing? In this listener-sourced episode, moms everywhere unleash frustration over the "monsters" who have made their vacations difficult - nay, impossible. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, inclusive, inclusivity , vacation, family vacation Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices